Peeve!!

I often have a hard time being positive, especially when it comes to writing blogs. There is nothing I love more then getting all riled up about something and then letting loose on the world wide web. Nobody likes a Debbie-Downer though so recently I have scaled back on my negative blogs. I guess that’s why I haven’t written in ages… Anyway, I can hold my tongue no longer! This anger has been brewing inside me for a long while and kinda came to culmination this week and more specifically today when I was talking to my brother Greg on the phone. I just have to say, I HATE fireplaces. Well let me be a little more clear, I hate virtually all fireplaces. Why you might ask yourself? Well buckle up, I’m about to overturn your proverbial SUV.

I’m an efficiency kind of guy, I like things that make sense and that are helpful. Fireplaces are not efficient things. First of all they increase the price of building a home, and therefore purchasing and existing home. Second, they foul up any room they are in. Think about it, where do you see fireplaces? Right smack dab in the middle of living rooms or other common areas. That is the typical location because back in the 19^th century that is where people would gather with their families to prevent from freezing to death and to play Charades. With the advent of indoor heating and electricity we no longer needed to prevent frostbite at night so what did people start to do? They started sleeping in different beds and different rooms. Electricity gave birth to radio and not long after its birth, charades died. Be honest, take a deep breath and ask yourself when the last time you played charades was. Unless you belong to the Price family chances are you’ve never actually played charades. Its dead, let it go. I digress… my point is that fireplaces no longer serve the purpose they once did and now they sit dormant for 364.5 days in the year. And I think giving the fireplace a half day of action is even quite generous. They are inefficient and virtually useless.

At this point I feel like I can almost hear some of you out there asking, “So JD if we were to eradicate all fireplaces, what would go in their place?” Give me a break, you had to have seen this one coming right? All you do is replace the old fireplace (useful in the 19^th century, worthless piece of crap today) and you replace it with the 21^st century’s fireplace which is… the TELEVISION. It serves largely the same purpose that fireplaces did back in the day when you think about it. It is a place where families gather for entertainment and for socializing. Think about your house, or the one you grew up in. Think about where you spent most of your time, unless you grew up hoping to one day win the National Spelling Bee I bet you were in front of the TV, right? Now think of that same room, envision it. Can you see it? Where is the fireplace? Chances are that it is in a place of prominence most likely in the center of the room and that it has displaced your TV to some strange locale in a corner or on a weird table. Some people go to one side of the fireplace, some try another wall, but no matter where you go your TV is playing second fiddle to the fireplace. Even if you’re a high roller and you mount a flat panel TV on your wall above your fireplace the TV is up too high. Nobody wants to crick their neck while trying to watch Colombo. The moral of the story is to all you out there who are building, or will someday build a house, do yourself a favor and skip the fireplace. Arrange your living room around the TV and you and your family will enjoy many wholesome movies together (like Willow) without having some out of date eye sore taunting you from the center of the room. Until that day, I remain respectfully yours,

JD Price Jr.